“I wish I’d had a friend tell me …”

Twenty years ago, I wish I had had an ally. Not someone who tells me that I messed up, that abortion is my only option and gives me a ride to the clinic. I wish I had had a friend to tell me that everything is going to be all right; that I don’t have to have an abortion to please my boyfriend or to do what society expects from a woman in my situation to “undo her mistake”.

I wish all pregnant women in need knew that they are not alone; that help is available for them and their baby and that they won’t be shamed. May I always be an ally and a friend to them.

— Béatrice Fedor on 400 Words for Women blog

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“I wish I’d had a friend tell me …” — 4 Comments

  1. I was 19 when abortion affected me. There was no heart beat and I waited. But I had drank heavily before I knew I was pregnant. And the abortion went wrong and now I can’t have kids. I feel so guilty. So incredibly guilty.

    • Hello Ally, I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain you have been through. I hope you are finding some support and help because it is available. I would be happy to direct you to some resources, but I’m a little confused by your post since you mentioned the baby not having a heartbeat.

      Please forgive me for the question, but I’m not sure if you are referring to a miscarriage (spontaneous abortion) followed by a procedure such as a D&C that was botched, or having an induced abortion where you had an abortion to end the pregnancy? Knowing this would help me to get you some better information on resources and support if you are interested.

      Please know that you are not alone and that you are in our thoughts and prayers. I hope to hear back from you.

  2. I was young about 16 when I had my abortion and didn’t know how bad it really was it was like I was blind, deaf, and dumb at the time because when it happened I cried and relied what I have done was very wrong and heard it was a boy not sure if it was by person or by spirit and I cant undo but I don’t think I can have children it was a terrible mistake I really hope the Lord forgives me it something I have to live with for the rest of my life..
    and it was really sneaky to!! the situation and I cannot wait until it comes in the daylight embarrassed or not I know the LORD will give me mercy and change my heart when it comes out in the day light

    • Dear Erin,

      If you have not read our page of tips and leads to a post-abortion healing program, please do so.

      There are a lot of people out there, most of whom have been through exactly what you are going through, who want to help. And you are right. The Lord is kind and merciful and is reaching out to you through these others to help you find healing.

      You are in my prayers.

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