You don't have to talk to people about their abortions to spread post-abortion healing. You don't even have to know if someone has had an abortion. And you certainly don't have to become a trained counselor or an expert in post-abortion issues. 

All you have to do is learn a simple, nonthreatening, three-step method for drawing friends and loved ones into post-abortion healing. You can use this technique with people who have told you about a past abortion, with people whom you suspect are troubled by a past abortion, or just in any casual conversation. For example, you can use this technique during lunch break at work with half a dozen co-workers. You should definitely run through these quick steps every time you find yourself in a conversation regarding abortion. 

In every case, the goal of a stealth healer merely to plant the seeds that can lead to future healing for others. You are not trying to complete the healing process. Frankly, you're probably not equipped to do so. But you can help break down some of the obstacles toward healing. 

O.K., here it is: 

In a simple, conversational way, stealth healers cover the following three points: 

(1) They announce that they have come to a new understanding of the abortion issue, including why people choose abortion and how it affects them; 

(2) They express compassion for post-aborted women and men, realizing that they must constantly face the fear that others may be judging and condemning them; and 

(3) They describe how they have heard of new programs that help women and men find freedom from the burdens of secrecy and shame associated with past abortions. 

These three steps are all it takes. Anyone can learn them; anyone can implement them. For review, the steps can be simply summarized as (1) announcing your new understanding, (2) expressing your compassion, and (3) mentioning that you have heard of new programs of outreach and healing. 

It is not necessary to solicit an admission of a past abortion. Doing so will probably be seen as unwanted prying and will be counterproductive. It is enough to simply cover these three points during a casual conversation. 

In the briefest of examples, it could be as simple as saying: "I read an interesting article that gave me a whole new understanding of why women have abortions. I never really understood before how much pressure they were under to abort. And I didn't realize before how often they feel judged and condemned by others, which can really make it hard for them to complete the grieving process. Did you know that on average it takes around ten years for women to recover emotionally from a past abortion? The good news is that there are a lot of new programs now to help women and men who are dealing with post-abortion problems." 

You have planted the seeds. Perhaps someone will ask for more information, in which case you can give them a copy of this publication or share more of what you know. But at the very least you have planted the seeds. Those who have had abortions now know that you are someone who can understand and empathize with their feelings, and moreover, that you may know more about how to find healing. 

Just remember these three key words: understanding, compassion, and hope. The first step, expressing understanding, respects the mind. The second step, expressing compassion, soothes the emotions. The third step, offering hope, feeds the spirit. 

By developing understanding, compassion, and hope surrounding this issue in millions of women and men, including both those who have had abortions and those who have not, we can quickly create a much more loving and healing environment for those who are burdened by a past abortion.