“Between a Woman and Her Doctor” is Just a Myth

By Theresa Bonopartis

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, when recently questioned about what limits should be placed on abortion, sidestepped the question, repeating the old familiar mantra, “A women’s right to make her own decisions about her body should be between her and her doctor.”

I’m accustomed to the deft use of words by pro-abortion extremists to change the subject. They talk about ”choice,” “decision,” and a “woman’s body” when what they are clearly speaking of is abortion. After over twenty years of working with women who have experienced abortion, I have to take issue with the myth that the decision of whether to have an abortion is between a woman and her doctor. I have met too many who suffered years of pain and regret to continue to allow that lie to be unanswered. Here are a few:

1. Mary had been in and out of psychiatric units for years. She knew her abortion bothered her, but like with many women, her feelings were never legitimized, and everything else but abortion was blamed for her problems. Mary had an abortion after her husband threatened to leave her if she went forward with the birth of their child. She caved in to the pressure only to have her husband die of a heart attack a couple of months later. Until she found post-abortion counseling at Lumina, and went through healing, Mary spent years in and out of psychiatric institutions. Mary’s “choice” had nothing at all to do with her and her doctor.

2. Anna got pregnant only to be told by her boyfriend it was not a good time. He professed his love and promised they would have a baby later when they were “ready.” Afraid to lose him, Anna had the abortion only to suffer from depression, anxiety and a host of other issues.  Anna’s “choice” had nothing at all to do with her doctor.

3. Debbie and Mike received an adverse diagnosis when Debbie was pregnant. They were immediately pressured to abort and were told they were selfish to even thinking of bringing their child to term. Sadly, they believed and trusted their doctor, and within 24 hours they were on a plane to late-term abortionist George Tiller in Kansas. With her dead baby in her arms (Tiller took pictures of his “compassionate” work of killing unborn children), Debbie became completely distraught. “I looked at her and she was not some monster. She was only a baby.” Debbie’s “choice” had nothing to do with her – it was her doctor’s.

4. When I was 17, I was kicked out of the house by my father because I was pregnant. Completely isolated with no money, no job and no home, he proceeded to pressure me to abort.  My “choice” had nothing at all to do with me and my doctor.

Countless women are coerced to make an abortion decision every day. There are very few people I have seen over the past twenty years who really wanted an abortion and where the decision was a free one between them and their doctor. In fact, I honestly cannot think of one.

We who have been there know that this myth perpetuated by the extreme pro-abortion lobby, which includes Hillary Clinton and Debbie Wasserman Schultz, is repeated like a mantra in order to make people believe abortion is some great good for women. The problem however, is that those of us who have come out the other side know it is a huge lie and we are speaking out.

Abortion is very rarely between a women and her doctor. Most times women abort because they feel they have no choice, not because they have free choice. For all the attempts by abortion advocates to make society think  they care about women, they have not once introduced a piece of legislation to protect them from coercion. In fact, they have worked hard to block it.

Recently, we read about Roxanna Haynes, a meteorologist and former Fox and CBS reporter, who reported to police that her ex-boyfriend threatened to kill her and her unborn child if she did not have an abortion. Women are victims of violence and even murder for refusing to abort, and yet there is silence from the Hillarys and Debbies.

Thankfully, America is finally seeing the truth. The majority of Americans do not want abortion to be allowed through all nine months of pregnancy. With over 55 million abortions in our country it is personally touching their lives. They see the pain of those they know and love – their mothers, sisters, friends and colleagues.

We also now have a generation of kids growing up feeling guilty for being “wanted” or made to think they would not be alive if their sibling was not aborted. What a burden to live with! They are struggling to resolve conflicting feelings about their parents, who would love them but kill another child. The impact of this dynamic is just beginning to surface.

Hillary and Debbie, and every other pro-abortion extremist can continue to chant the myth that abortion is between a woman and her doctor, but the truth is, it impacts every one of us, and sadly, we are all living with that reality.


Theresa Bonopartis is the founder of Lumina post-abortion ministry and works with the Sisters of Life on their “Entering Cannan” healing ministry. She also conducts training seminars for clergy and mental health professionals. This piece originally appeared on Aleteia, and is reprinted with permission of the author.

Learn More:
Forced Abortion in America Special Report
Special Report on Coercion in the Abortion Industry

Downloadable Educational Materials:
Forced Abortion Fact Sheet
Forced Abortion Flyer
Portraits of Coercion

Get Help:
Center Against Forced Abortions (legal help)
Help During Pregnancy
Help After Abortion

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