Called to Love: Reflections on Ministering to Post-Abortive Women in Prison
by Laurie Velker
“. . . I was in prison and you came to visit Me.” — Matt. 25: 36(b)
I had asked God many times to allow me the opportunity to minister behind prison walls. I didn’t know how He would open the door for me, but I never stopped asking Him.
Then others in our ministry were inspired to move in that direction by working with Prison Fellowship to hold an outreach event and Bible study/recovery groups in the prisons. I knew then that God was going to allow me to be a part of that ministry outreach and I couldn’t wait to go! I’m post-abortive myself and I already felt a strong tug on my heart about reaching post-abortive women in prison.
In May of 1997, the Pregnancy Resource Center and Michigan Prison Fellowship held an “Evening of Hope and Healing” at two women’s prisons in Coldwater, Michigan. Following the program, which included a concert by Christian recording artist Kathy Troccoli, I invited the women to participate in a post-abortion Bible study that was to be held at the two prisons for the next ten weeks.
The evening was incredible. The personal testimonies of the speakers and the ministry of Kathy Troccoli moved so many women. The women sang along with Kathy; they danced and cheered her on. When Kathy began to sing “A Baby’s Prayer,” (a song written for post-abortive women) it got very quiet.
As several post-abortive women shared their testimonies, the sound of weeping women filled the gymnasium. When I invited the women to come up for prayer, they flocked forward. Many of them confessed their abortions and said it was the first time they had done so. It was a powerful evening, filled with hope and an invitation to healing.
Sixty-four women signed up to participate in the 10-week abortion recovery Bible study groups. I personally felt challenged in every way as we went forward in forming our groups. How could we minister to such grief and shame? Were we in over our heads? In the midst of much prayer, I realized that the Father was at work. He had invited us and He would see it through. I knew He had a plan for these women and that we were simply called to love them, be ourselves, and minister His word.
I facilitated a group with Tammy, a Pregnancy Resource Center volunteer. We had seven women in our group, each of whom faithfully attended the group for the full ten weeks. Each of their stories was heart-wrenching. They had suffered horrendous wounds and had made extremely poor choices.
Their time in prison was difficult, chaotic, loud. They admitted their hearts were somewhat hardened to others. They all agreed that trust within the prison was nonexistent. Nobody opened up. There was too much fear that anything they said could always be used against them later. Anger was rampant among the inmates as well. No one knew how to control their anger.
Yet this little group of seven women bonded in a way that was almost unheard of within the prison system. They agreed to tell their stories to one another. They opened up and took the risk of becoming vulnerable. They cried tears of pain, shame and grief. They embraced God’s word and spurred one another on. It was an incredible privilege to be a part of the Father’s work.
One woman in our group, Lois, was raped when she was 13. This was her first sexual experience. She never knew her father, and she lived with her mother in the inner city. She was pulled into an abandoned building by a neighborhood man and assaulted. Afterwards, as she began to walk home, he told her, “I’ll watch to make sure you make it home okay.”
When she got home, her mother was extremely angry at her for being late. She told her to remove her clothes and proceeded to beat her with an extension cord. Lois has said that her anger burned at that moment. She had carried it ever since.
Lois became pregnant as a result of the rape, and released the child for adoption. After that, she no longer cared about life too much. She started drinking and became promiscuous. She also turned to drugs and developed addictions. She was arrested and incarcerated.
Upon release to a center, Lois became pregnant again. This time, she said, the corrections officer told her that she would have to have an abortion if she didn’t want to go back to prison. She had the abortion, but was sent back to prison anyway.
Again, her anger burned. She said that at times she would walk down the prison hallways and feel like striking anyone within her reach. She didn’t know what to do with her anger. It had gotten her into trouble in prison before. She isolated herself from others. She felt sadness about losing her children. As she reflected on her life during the abortion recovery group, all she could see were patterns of anger, sadness, isolation, loss, and victimization.
One night, I woke up and was burdened to pray for Lois. I asked the Lord to release her from her anger. I went to a book and looked up the literal and spiritual meaning of Lois’s name. Her name meant “famous warrior maid.” I told Lois about this. I felt she was created and destined to be one with a warring spirit. But she was directing it in the wrong places and at the wrong people. I told her that she was to use that anger for something good, something positive and just. I believed God would powerfully use her.
Lois broke down and cried. All of the women in the group gathered around Lois and prayed for her. They wept with her. Lois acknowledged the stronghold of anger in her life and her desire to be released. She asked forgiveness. She let it go. It was one of the most moving moments of my life–witnessing this woman rising above her circumstances and allowing her Father to take control.
Lois directs the choir in the prison now. After she had released her anger, she told me she woke up in the middle of the night, hearing the word “stand” in her mind. She thought it was the Holy Spirit speaking to her, so she got out of bed and stood up. She asked, “Okay, Lord — now what?” And the reply was, “S.T.A.N.D. Lois, that’s the name of the ministry I’m calling you to. Start Taking A New Direction. Minster to others.”
Recently, Lois sent me copies of her new letterhead. She fully intends to reach out to others. She believes that the Lord has rewarded her for her obedience and faith, and she longs to tell her story of new direction. Lois’s heart and life have been forever changed. She has begun writing family members and asking forgiveness for the wrongs she has done towards them. She says she feels a freedom deep within her spirit that she can’t explain. She says it’s quiet.
I started out facilitating this group, asking God how one with such a tragic life could possibly overcome it? How does one rise up out of abuse, alcohol, poverty and crime to become whole again? God showed me time and time again, with so many of these women (who each had their own tragedies to share) that when we draw near to God, He will draw near to us. When we commit our way to Him, He is faithful and will come alongside us. God is the great physician. We are His instruments of peace.
Laurie Velker is the coordinator for the prison outreach program at Pregnancy Resource Center in Grand Rapids, Michigan. For more information on this program, contact the PRC at 415 Cherry St. SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49503, (616) 456-6873.
Originally published in The Post-Abortion Review 7(2) April-June 1999. Copyright 1997 Elliot Institute
