The Sorrow of Sexual Assault & the Joy of Healing – Book Review
Book Review
The Sorrow of Sexual Assault & the Joy of Healing
Kay Zibolsky
ISBN 1-931727-10-4 (128 pp). Published by Bridge-Logos Publishers, 1 (800) 631-5802, www.bridgelogos.com. To order, contact your local Christian bookstore.
In talking with people about abortion, pro-lifers often find themselves confronted with the question, “What if a woman has been raped?” To many people–even some who normally consider themselves to be “against abortion”–abortion seems like a compassionate solution for a woman who finds herself facing a pregnancy resulting from sexual assault.
Sexual assault pregnancy has been the “wedge” abortion advocates use to keep the door of legal abortion open. “Would you want your daughter, or sister, or wife to be forced to carry her attacker’s child?” they ask. And when people answer “no,” it is a short step to winning their support for abortion in other “hard cases,” such as when a women is poor, abandoned, young, in poor health, of the “wrong” race, or simply upset about an unplanned pregnancy.
Fortunately, however, the voices of women who have actually experienced a pregnancy resulting from sexual assault — and still say “no” to abortion — are beginning to be heard. One such woman is Kay Zibolsky, who was 16 years old when she was sexually assaulted by a stranger while walking home from a friend’s home one night. Raised herself by a single mother, Kay gave birth to a daughter, Robin, whom she later placed for adoption. Twenty-five years would pass before she saw her daughter again.
The Sorrow of Sexual Assault & the Joy of Healing is the story of Kay’s journey from scared 16-year-old through single motherhood, adoption, marriages, widowhood, divorce, parenting, Christian conversion, and finally, her reunion with Robin and her ministry to other women. Revised and updated from previous editions (published under the titles How You Can Live Again — After Assault and Healing Hidden Hurts), this book helps readers understand the pain of sexual assault and the healing that can be found in Christ.
Kay’s faith runs wide and deep through the pages of this book, especially in the final chapters as she shares how she came to know Christ, her own spiritual healing and growth, and her involvement in the pro-life movement and her ministry to women hurt by sexual assault and abortion. The book includes a three step “master plan” that Kay wrote to help readers come to know Christ, learn to forgive those who have hurt them, and become “doers of the word” by seeking to live their faith and reaching out to others in need of healing. Clearly, this is something Kay strives to do every day, and readers will be edified by her example of trust, forgiveness, and willingness to help others.
The Sorrow of Sexual Assault & the Joy of Healing clearly contradicts the argument that abortion is needed for those experiencing a sexual assault pregnancy for “the sake of the woman.” Although this story is heartbreaking at times, it is also, as the title suggests, filled with the “joy of healing.” Reflecting on her life, Kay writes,
Plainly, all the heartbreak and pain had some purpose after all. It is so easy to forget what life is all about. What I have been through is a high price to pay for gaining maturity and faith in God and in myself. I would never have chosen these experiences, but in terms of my whole future and the future of other victims, I would like to think my life has been worthwhile. Most of us are willing to go through anything if we can see some purpose in it. Everything that happens can shape us–even the bad things.
This book is a wonderful resource for those who have experienced sexual assault, abortion, or losing a child to adoption. It should be on the shelves in every pregnancy center, church, school library, or any other place where people need to experience the healing power of Christ. Whether you’ve experienced the pain of sexual assault yourself or know someone who has, or simply want to learn more about this issue, The Sorrow of Sexual Assault & The Joy of Healing is an important and much-needed resource.
Orignially printed in The Post-Abortion Review, Vol. 11(2), April-June 2003. Copyright 2003, Elliot Institute.
