Testimonies
An Index of Our Most Read Testimonies
- Looking For Advice in All the Wrong Places
- Trying to Survive
- Two Senseless Deaths: The Long Road to Recovery
- Divine Mercy in My Soul
- No One Told Me I Could Cry
- A Daughter’s Grief and a Family’s Burden
- Accomplices in Incest — Forced abortion following incest
- Released
- Amazing Grace
- Before I Had Time to Think — Abortion after date rape pregnancy
- “Misinformed” Consent
- The Choice
- The Search for Meaning
- Consequences
- The Choices We Make
- The Dream
- In God We Trust
- Our Greatest Need
- A Mother’s Anguish
- Fear and Forgiveness
- Just Let Her Know You Love Her — A post-abortive father’s grief.
- Anguish of an Aborted Mother
- Women Who Abort: Their Reflections on the Unborn
Several Testimonies are included in this chapter of The Jericho Plan
For more first hand testimonies, see the books Giving Sorrow Words and Aborted Women, Silent No More.
Still more testimonies can be found in The Post-Abortion Review
We encourage you to share your testimony at AbortionRisks.org
132 thoughts on “Testimonies”
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Dear Kara,
I went on this site today and discovered your posts. I also read all the loving responses from women and men who prayed for you and your baby are still praying for you and your precious daughter Artheia.
You are strong and courageous and a wonderful mother to withstand all the pressure you experienced to abort your precious baby. God heard your prayers and the prayers of the throng of people who kept praying for you and are still praying for you today. May God send his angels to protect you from all evil.
There are challenges to being a single mother but also many, many joys and moments of pride as you watch her grow and flourish. Artheia will bring you many blessings.
It was so good to hear that your sisters were supportive during your pregnancy and sent you maternity clothes and clothing for your baby.
By not I am pretty sure that your parents have fallen in love with your daughter and are very thankful that you didn’t abort their granddaughter. Please continue to post updates on this site so we can hear how you are doing.
Thank you for reaching out for help. Thank you for not giving up or giving in to despair. Thank you for loving your precious child even before you saw her for the first time. Thank you for trusting God and leaning on the love of Jesus to see you through this traumatic time.
Your story is an inspiration to women and couples that are going through difficult pregnancies, especially those whose partners and parents and friends are pressuring them to abort their babies. Thank you for giving them more courage to choose life!
May the Lord of Life fill your heart with joy and peace and watch over you and Artheia today and forever!
thanks everyone,
I’m so blessed and thankful with my precious baby Artheia. God bless u all,
She’s two weeks old now and she’s a good girl, she always listen to me. I really appreciate all ur support. Ur all an angel to us.
Have a good day and continue in supporting people like me. Sending u our hugs.
Kara
Hi Kara,
Hope you and baby Artheia are continuing to do well. We’ve been so happy to see your notes! We are continuing to pray for you and hope you will keep in touch to let us know how you are doing or if there is anything you need. May God bless you both!
Kara,
Congratulations on your beautiful little girl. What a wonderful blessing she is!
Please give her my love.
Pat
Dear Kara, what a good new this is! Congratulations! Our hearts were filled with tenderness for you and your baby. Having 3 kids I tell you that these first months are hard, but worth it! It is the period of our lives were suffering and exaustion are most tied with joy and tenderness for our little ones! A hug from us! Raquel and family
Wow Kara, you made it though. Congratulations on you healthy lovely newborn baby Artheia. We will continue to pray for you and your precious child.
good day everyone!
I give birth to a beautiful girl last April 16. I’m so bless it was normal. Thanks everyone for all your prayers. Our journey is just begins, please let us be on your prayers. Thank u very much.
Kara and baby Artheia
Many congratulations! You, Artheia, and everyone else you love remain are in our prayers!
God that saw you through to the delivery of Artheia will give you all the supply, wisdom to bring her up
Congratulations sister.
Congratualtions, Kara! Glad everything went well … you and baby Artheia will continue to be in our prayers. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing!
Good day!
I’m 35 weeks now, soon Im gonna have my little angel in my arms, I hope I can deliver her normally, my feet starts swelling, please continue praying for us that we can make it, thanks God, He sends you all to make me more strong inspite of being single. I prepared all the things needed incase our time comes. My wish is my baby will be healthy and strong. I know sometimes Im emotional but still trying to be strong for her. Im so happy feeling her kicking and moving around my tummy. Please let us be in your prayers. Thank you very much.
God bless you all.
Kara
You are indeed in our prayers! Praise God.
Kara,
So glad that our prayers are being answered by our very great and awesome God. How He provides for those who seek Him! Praying yet for His guidance and for this remaining time in your pregnancy. What a beautiful and precious time! May God continually bless you and give you His peace.
Kara,
Thank you for your updates. I will pray for you and your little one and the rest of your family. I am glad to know about you and your strength that comes from God. Your sweet baby is fortunate to have you for a mom!
Thanks Everyone,
Im so happy knowing that your always there for us, me and my baby, Its hard to be alone but through all your prayers and support, God giving me the strength to move on and face the world. You all touches my heart. Thank you very much…..
Kara
Hi Kara! How exciting that you know you will have a little girl! So glad for you that your sisters are standing by you and that you will meet your little girl very soon! Prayers are being said for you, dear one.
I am so happy that things are going better for you! You, your family and your sweet little girl are in my prayers now and forever. May God continue to bless you and fill you with gratitude.
Love,
Sarah
I am so happy for you. What a joy a child brings to those who know him or her. I pray Our Lady, the Mother of all, shall bring Her special maternal care to you. From your testimonies here, I know you to be a beautiful, strong person.
hello everyone,
I am 32 weeks pregnant now, thank you very much for all your prayers, please continue praying for us. My baby is a girl. When our time comes hope everything will gonna be fine, please let us be in your prayers. Thank you very much.
God bless you all.
Kara
Hi Kara,
Congratulations — this is such wonderful news! Many people are continuing to pray for you and your baby, and for your family. Please continue to let us know how you are doing and if there is any way we can help you. May God bless you!
Congratulations! You’re such a good momma! Of course we will be praying for you! Keep us posted, ok?
JP
Good day!
hello everyone, my baby now is 5 months and 4 days. please continue praying for us, im so thankful having all of you. ur support and prayers give me hope and strength. thank you very much.
mery christmas to all of you.
kara
You are always in our prayers, Kara. My heart is warmed by your courage. I pray for the day your whole family will rejoice in you. Merry Christmas to you, too!
Hi Kara,
I pray you are doing well. I just wanted to let you know that you, your baby, and everyone in your family continue to be in our prayers.
Good day!
Today, I received baby clothes from my sister, and dress for pregnant, Im so touch. I am very happy, Im not alone at all, I have sisters with me, You guys and God.
Thank you very much for all your prayers. Please continue praying for us.
God bless you all,
Kara
That is very welcome news! I am so happy that your sisters are showing their love and support to you! Praise God, Enjoy their love! You remain in our prayers.
Kara, that’s wonderful to hear! We will continue to pray for you and your baby — please keep us posted as to how things are going.
To all of you,
I cant express how much grateful I am to have all your prayers, you are giving me hope and strength that theres always hope for tomorrow. Im a bit strong now, I can bear with all the people saying about me, I dont care anymore, I am showing them that I am strong, putting smile on my face. Its not only me having through trials like this. Im just hoping that my family will accept my baby.
Thank you very much to all of u,
God bless you all,
kara
To All Of You,
Thank you very much for all the prayers and support. God is good. I am the main topic of the news here in our small place. My father knows already, same with my mother he doesnt want to talk to me, Im hoping that when my baby comes, they will gonna embrace her/him with love.
thank you very much.
God bless u all
You and your parents are always in my prayers, Kara.
Please be patient with them. They are adjusting and will adjust. God is working on their hearts. And your baby’s smile will work on their hearts, too!
Stay strong. Stay hopeful. I’m sure there will be more rough patches to come. But never let go of the hope and faith God is offering you. This trial will make you stronger and a truly great mother to your children.
With all our prayers.
Kara, I will be praying for this for you, too! Please keep us posted on how things are going and if there is anything we can do to help.
Hi Kara
Just hang in there. God will see you through anything, you just have to ask him. He’ll never force His way into your life. Trust Him and rely on his goodness.
God bless you and your family and tiny precious one.
Wendy
Hello Kara
I have been praying for you, and will continue to do so, that God will give you strength as you go through this difficult time– strength to do the courageous act of protecting your unborn baby despite much opposition. May God give you peace and give you a sense of His presence.
Cyril (from Canada)
Dearest Kara,
I really care about you and I am so sorry for all of the pain and confusion you are experiencing. I know you are in a difficult situation but God will bring the best out of it. I met a young women with a very similar situation. She had a boyfriend who demanded that she get a abortion and she went to get an abortion. She told God that if she wanted her to keep the baby to give her a sign. God sent her two people holding signs which read,’Pray to end Abortion” She took that as a sign but had no where to go. God provided because of her courage and trust. She found a pregnancy help center and she now lives with three children in a apartment. She is so happy with her children. Children bring joy. God is going to use this child to not only bring you joy but to change the world. God loves you and your child so much. God just wants to cradle you in his arms if you will allow him to forgive you. God is quick to forgive and to heal but we often times take a while to let him. You will never regret your choice of giving birth to child of God. God will reward you infinitely for being so courageous! God admires your little heart! Pray! Hope! And do not worry! You are in my prayers and I love you!
Hello, Kara.
I will keep you and your little one in my prayers. I’ll pray that you have strength and that you feel God’s peace. Remember, you are the only one to protect your little one right now. He or she is depending completely upon you for safety. You can do it!
Dear Kara,
Our prayer group in Metro Manila prayed for you when we heard about your difficulties, but we didn’t know that you live here in the Philippines. What province are you in? Depending where you live, it might be that we could find someone who is able to help you. Meanwhile, I pray that our Lord will comfort you with his love, and provide for your needs.
Dearest Kara,
I am sorry for the pain you are going through right now, only God knows why. Keep focused on keeping yourself healthy and happy, the little one you are carrying will bring much joy to you. Trust in God everything will be okay. Take it one day at a time girl and keep your chin up, you are a beautiful woman and mother.
In my prayers dearest Kara,
Nancy B
NY, USA
Hi Kara, I am praying for you. I know the Lord will lead you and provide for you. Do not be anxious for anything only trust in Him and the prayers of many being said around the world for you. Someone in the Philippines is there to help you; God will lead.
What joy this little life inside of you will bring! Please look forward to seeing their beautiful smile and hearing their giggles. Even if you have to go through some hard times, I trust that God will bless you and your baby and provide all that you need. Think about this and rely on it: “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” Psalm 119:105
Dear Kara,
I understand that the circumstances of your pregnancy can be very depressing, but please try to hold on to that wonderful gift of life that God has put into your life. Your joy and love for your baby will surpass any negative feelings you may be currently experiencing, but I know it is tough right now.
Don’t forget to pray to and ask for the help of St. Jude. He is the patron saint of “difficult and desperate cases, even to the point where help was [is] almost dispaired of.” St Jude can provide consolation and the help of heaven in all your necessities, tribulations and sufferings.
As a sister in Christ, I pray for you and offer my all my love for both you and your baby.
Sincerely, Brad
Kara, you and your baby are in my family’s prayers. Take care of yourself and your baby, and let God do the rest. Semper Fidelis, Patrick McLain
Hi Kara, we are continuing to pray for you. I am sorry to hear that no one has been returning your calls. Have you tried an organization called Pregnancy Support Services of Asia? They have affiliates in the Philippines, according to their web site. Their contact page is here: http://heartbeatasia.com/?page_id=45. I hope this helps!
Good day everyone,
Im depressed right now, I know it couldnt help me and my baby, but I cant help it. My boyfriend called today, Im telling him that we can work things out. He said its not the life he dream of, and being 3 years together is a waste of time. He ask me what are my plans and tell me to ask myself why I should have the baby, I said I dont know, and I told him that before my dream is to have a baby and build a family, simple and happy family. He said, its not the life he dream of, but before, we got plans and dreams together, living here in the Philippines and have farm like ours. Why things change so fast, is it my fault? Pray for us please that my baby be healthy and I can cope with all the challenges in life. I still dont speak to my father about this matter coz I know he will ask me to leave.
kara
Hi Kara,
You remain in our constant prayers. I pray your baby’s father will eventually come around and embrace his child as a gift from God. I’m sure at some point he will. But right now, he’s very short sighted. The very question, to ask yourself why you should have the baby is so absurd. Why have the your baby?! Because it is YOUR baby. A gift from God. He may think it is an untimely gift, but is such a huge, amazing, awesome gift nonetheless. God is giving you both a great opportunity to love and be loved by this child and amazed at his or her life.
I understand that he may think this is not the life he dreamed of. But that’s part of the miracle of it. It’s the life God dreams of and is making real for the both of you. Allowing God to guide your future can be scary, but it is always more rewarding. Far more fulfilled with purpose and contentment than any life you can dream of yourself. Your boyfriend is suffering from very limited, self-centered dreams. Don’t let his short-shortsightedness rob you of your dream, much less rob your child of God’s plan for him.
I’m praying for you.
One more thing: your parents may well be upset with you now, and they have a right to be, but from the many people I have talked to, it is rare for parents not to adore their grandchild when the grandchild is born. Give your parents a chance.
I have two grandchildren born out of wedlock, and I absolutely adore them! I would do anything for them.
Thank you Pat,
I will contact those number tomorrow, Im so depressed right now, but still believing on Gods miracle that everything will gonna be alright.
Thank you very much and God bless you.
kara
Kara, you are very welcome. I am still praying for you. Take care of yourself and that precious baby.
Dear Kara,
What a beautiful name you have!
Whenever anyone (mother, boyfriend) tries to pressure you into having an abortion, just tell them, “I have already decided. I am going to protect my baby.” If they continue to pressure you, just walk away. Walk out of the house if you have to.
Try these numbers in Philippines, and let me know if they work:
733 7027
7349425
0919-233 7783 text
0932-8776593
0917-5805370
Remember, Jesus died for you AND your baby. I am praying for you.
Love and hugs,
Pat
To All of You,
I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You give me strength, thank you for the continuous support, it means a lot to me. May God bless you all.
Kara
Dear Kara,
I am touched by the love and prayers of so many for you and your baby, and I am praying for God’s strength for you, too. Your parents and boyfriend may not be there for you, but God is, and this baby is God’s special gift to you.
I work with men and women who desperately regret their abortions and would give love to have those babies. You are right, your boyfriend does not have to live with your conscience. You can hear their words here: http://www.theirmanetwork.org/whyanetwork.htm
Also, here is a place that may be able to help you: http://www.prolife.org.ph/?p=125
My father wanted my mother to abort me. She would go for long walks and come home and tear apart her clothes, because she did not want to tear apart the baby inside her. After I was born, my mother said, “He fell in love with you.”
Keep the money he sent you and buy vitamins for you, baby blankets and diapers.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
I am sending you my love, hugs, and prayers. Diane
I have contacted some of the numbers, but not responding. I will try again again. Please pray for us that we can seek help from here, that my parents especially my father could accept me. I really dont want to abort my baby. And even one of the foundation I can contact for us to stay if in case my father ask me to leave.
thank you very much. more power and God bless you all.
I’m very glad you are reaching out for help. Be persistent. You will find it. That is also another reason to reach out to your local churches. The pastor’s may have a more updated list of the pregnancy help centers. God bless you!
Dear Kara,
I’m joining my prayers with all of the others to support you and that you would have a tangible encounter with God. He loves you and your family so much and has plans to prosper you and this child. He offers hope and a future with Him. You will never regret keeping this child. So many are praying for you and care about you. There is a positive way through this situation through Jesus. He promises to be found by you when you seek Him with all your heart. He WILL help you and He will send people to help you through this. It will be one small step at a time. As you trust in Him you will see that He is faithful and He will send people to help you. Praying for you with all my heart. Christa
To all of you,
I really appreciate your warm support, it means a lot to me. Im in the country where people are very judgmental. Im living with my parents in a small town, my father is a policeman, people admire them for having good daughters and son, but now if people find out that Im a single mother, and get pregnant before marriage, I know they will talk about my family, I just feel sorry for my parents for what Ive done. My mother doesnt want to talk to me because I know shes thinking about what people say about us. I didnt tell my father yet because I dont know how to start.
My boyfriend is a foreigner, weve been together for two years and 10 months, I didnt know that I will get pregnant because my ovulation is abnormal. He is not into marriage, Im fine with that as long as he loves me, but of course its better when you were together with the blessing of our Almighty God. Now that I get pregnant he wants me to get rid of it, Im here now in the Philippines and he on their country. He send me money to get rid of the baby, Im looking for site here on the philippines to help me in my problem and nothing in response, there are some but just people encouraging me to abort the baby, and almost sites where people got abortion.
Thank God because there is a site like this, even I dont know you and your miles away from me your supporting me, Thank You Very Much……
Please continue putting me in your prayers especially the life inside me, my baby now is more than two months, Im so depressed and with you guys Im gaining some strength to move on. Thank you very much…..
Hi Kara,
Thanks for more details. Do your parents go to Church? If so, then it is perhaps especially important for you to approach your priest or pastor. Explain the situation and ask if he can come with you to discuss things with your parents.
I’d also suggest presenting it to your father something like this…. “I’ve something to tell you that will disappoint you, but I’m handling it in a way that I think will make you proud.” This recognizes that you understand how the news of your pregnancy will disappoint him. At the same time, it prepares him with your expectation that he wants you to do the right thing, even if it is hard, and that he should be proud of you in your decision to stand up to the pressures to abort and your wisdom in knowing that the “easy way out” is just a trap.
If you or your parents don’t regularly attend a church, then approach a priest or pastor nearby anyway. Find some support for you and your child and someone who can be with you when you tell your father. That makes it just “public” enough that it may help prevent him from also thinking abortion is the easy way out. It’s very possible that he would never encourage you to have an abortion. Maybe he would be the first to say “Well, I’m unhappy about this. But we are where we are and that’s my grandchild, and you are my daughter, and we’ll work through this.” I pray his acceptance and support will surprise you. But you won’t know until you give him the chance. And you can improve your chances by having a priest or pastor that he respects present with you when you break the news.
You are in all of our prayers. God’s grace will provide a way. But be prepared for unexpected ways.
Kara~
There is someone beautiful growing inside you. God already knows who that person is and will be. I am praying for you. Please know that you are never alone. You are that special growing person’s mother and it is a mother’s job to protect her children at all costs.
Relationships may come and go but death is forever. Your boyfriend sounds like he is not that great of a support for you anyway. Who knows, you guys could break up and then would his opinion even matter to you? If you take the life of your sweet child for someone that doesn’t care about your feelings and you as a person your guilt will be severe and it will be forever. You cannot get that baby back, ever.
I also have a sneaking suspicion that when your mother sees your baby she will be instantly in love and provide you much support! There should be a clinic somewhere that can help you and provide counseling, support, even baby items for you. I am not sure where you are but you should be able to find a crisis pregnancy center that will offer you support when those around you will not.
I wish you peace and strength and courage on this journey. I beg you to please don’t erase any hope your baby has for a beautiful life. Once you hold your baby the first time you will know a love like you have never imagined. I know, I have two and both were “surprises.”
In the event you are unable to care for your child there is always the possibility of adoption.
It would be so cruel and unfair to take a precious life, to punish that baby, because you think you can’t provide for it or because you or anyone close to you thinks that is right.
We do not live in a society where we murder or discard those that are an inconvenience. We also don’t kill people for not doing anything wrong, not even rapists are put to death.
Your precious baby is merely hanging out with a beating heart in a nice warm and soft womb. He or she knows nothing of the circumstances of your life, his or her father’s life, his grandma or grandpa’s lives. It is not FAIR to kill such an innocent, harmless being.
You are loved. You are strong. You are brave. You are a mother!
Jen
I wish I could comfort you in person and find a way to support you. I wish I could reason with the people closest to you. There is another person in this world now who has just as much right to exist as they do. I hope you do not feel overwhelmed by the powerful response you have received here. And I hope it has helped you feel less alone. The life inside you is a gift of love between you and your boyfriend. I do not want you to feel rejected. No matter what, Providence loves you. Keep God close.
To All of You,
Thank you so much for your warm support, Im from the Philippines, I used to search in the internet who could help me and give some advice and this site give me hope reading some stories, I cant stop my self from crying, Im so sorry, at this moment of my life Im so sick and depressed, feeling alone but your giving me hope, may God bless you all…….
Dear Kara
yes, it needs a lot of courage to have this Baby! It will be so proud of a mother who did not give in and decided for Her/ Him.
You ARE already a mother! I pray that you will get all the help and support you need
to finally decide for your inner feelings and the Baby! Be brave and you will not regret it!
Hi Kara
I know what it is like to be pressured into an abortion. The same thing happened to me.
It is so hard when the people you think care about you most and love you are telling you it is the right thing to do even if in your heart you know that is not true.
I caved in to the pressure. In the end as what was mentioned above, the relationship ended and I felt more isolated and alone with no one to talk to about my suffering because I had an abortion.
There are people who can help you. I know it is hard but it will be even harder to deal with thinking of participating in the death of your child.
It sounds like you so do not want to do it…dont make a decision from pressure like I did that will be with you the rest of your life.
Praying for you
If you tell us where you are we can connect you with help
Kara~
I agree! Tell us where you are and we can provide resources for you in your area.
Jen
Hi Kara! Please let us know what we can do for you. We want to help and support you.
I have a big problem, I dont know what to do, I got pregnant and my boyfriend want to get rid of it because he doesnt want to have a baby at all. please I need some advice. i love my bf very much at the same time I want a baby, but he said he will not be a part of it if i keep the baby. what im gonna do?
Dear Kara,
To begin with, I can not emphasize enough the fact that abortion is more likely to destroy a relationship than to preserve it. Having an abortion as the “condition” to saving a relationship usually backfires. You are most likely to end up with neither your baby or your man.
Setting that aside for the moment, aborting a child that you want . . . even if he doesn’t . . . puts you at higher risk of severe depression, guilt, and other problems after the abortion. Please read our posting on risk factors for more post-abortion problems. Even from your brief email, I can see you already fit into several of these categories — attachment to the baby, feeling pressured to choose abortion by someone else.
I encourage you to have him read about these risk factors, too. And have him read some of the testimonies. If he really cares about you, he will quickly change his mind precisely because he doesn’t want you to regret the abortion for the rest of your life. If he keeps pushing for the abortion . . . what does that tell you about how important you really are to him? Does he care about you (much less the baby), or only about not being “tied down” by you or the baby?
I know you love him very much. I hope he deserves your love. I pray that once he begins to realize that abortion is a magic wand that will turn back time so things will be the way they were . . . but is instead a real experience of losing a child that could haunt you (both) for life . . . that he will change his mind and stand by you and your baby promising his love and support forever. You both deserve his love. If he is unable or unwilling to give it, you still have the opportunity to be the best mother you can be. It’s better to live your life being proud that you protected the life of your child than to live it with self blame that you gave into this pressure to abort.
I can’t predict the future regarding your boyfriend. I don’t know if he will stay with you, or leave you, or leave and return to you.
But I can predict the future regarding how you will feel. If you give birth to your child, you will love him and her and be happy forever that you chose to protect that life despite any and all challenges that being a mother will bring. And there will be many! But if you have the abortion, you will always regret giving into his pressure and will feel that you betrayed yourself, your ideals, your maternal nature, and your child. Choose life! Cling to it, no matter how many pressures you face. And within a year, you will be so proud of yourself.
For help, support, and friendship in dealing with your unplanned pregnancy and your boyfriend and family, I encourage you to talk to a pregnancy help center listed here.
You are in my prayers. Please keep in touch and let us know if we can be of any help . . . and hopefully the good news about your boyfriend changing his mind.
i am touch and been so emotional lately, this is a big help for me, thank you, yes, im thinking of aborting my baby to because i seek help from my mother but, she doesnt response and she cant say anything about it, i didnt tell my father yet coz he might gonna kill me, im so depress and feeling alone, but thank u, im always praying that everything will gonna be alright.
I am redoubling my prayers for you. I pray for you to have hope and strength and that you will find someone who will be there to encourage your hope and strengthen your strength.
Keep praying. And find time in your prayers for a moment of silence to listen for God’s reassurance and love.
i have talk to my boyfriend yesterday but still he insisted and asking me to abort the baby still, he said he has finished on that stage of his life because he has already two kids. i understand about that, but whats killing me if im going to abort the baby is my conscience. please include me on your prayers and everyone who could read this pray for us. i dont know what to do, sometimes im just thinking im gonna abort this, i know its a big mistake and a mortal sin but thinking what people would say about me and that my father would kill me when they knew that my boyfriend will not stand for this baby…..
please include us in your prayers that everything will gonna be ok, its so hard now coz im feeling all alone…….
You are very much in my prayers, and I am asking many others to pray for you, too.
What country do you live in? What is the religious background of yourself and your parents?
I know you fear that your father will be upset . . . but perhaps he would be even more disappointed if you had an abortion and didn’t trust him to come around (after getting adjusted to the first surprise that you were pregnant).
I’m very sorry about your boyfriend. He’s very selfish if all he can think of is himself and how he is “done” with having kids. What about your right and need to have children? Much less, the fact that you are already pregnant with his child and he wants you to get rid of it even if it exposes you to a lifetime of guilt, grief, depression and all of the other physical and psychological risks associated with abortion? I truly pray he will come around eventually and support you and the baby. But for the time being, he is just being selfish and trying to manipulate you. Don’t listen to him.
As you said, you already know in your heart that abortion would be a big mistake. I know from working with so many women like yourself that God will forgive you, but the hardest part will be forgiving yourself and it will be like cutting off a part of yourself, like an arm, that you will never fully recover from. You will likely be functional. Able to get by day to day, but you will always regret giving into the pressure of your boyfriend and your own fears about acceptance from others and your family.
Please trust that God has a plan. There will be many obstacles, many disappointments, many hurts. But the rewards will be far greater. Eventually your mother and father will be glad that you chose life rather than death for their grandchild.
Your dad may be disappointed that you are pregnant, and maybe even he will think (foolishly) that abortion is the quick fix that will prevent neighbors and friends from judging him and your family. But in his heart, he too knows it is the wrong moral choice. Seeing you stand up against all the pressures to abort, choosing the high road, even though it is tougher and risks rejection from others, will be an inspiring example of moral integrity.
There is little virtue in doing the right thing when it is easy to do so and only brings praise.
There is far greater, and more impressive, virtue when you choose to do the right thing when it is hard to do so, especially when everyone else is encouraging you to take the “easy way” out. And in the end, even those who counseled for the “easy way out” are more impressed by the courage of those who chose the hard way precisely because everyone knows that it is more courageous to give life than to take it.
I will keep praying for you. We’ll also ask many others to pray for you, too.
Be strong. Don’t give in. We’ll be with you in prayer every day.
Stand strong!
Kara,
Just want you to know that you are being supported by lot’s of people! Even ones you will never know! We are behind you all the way!
Dear Kara,
You are not alone, and there is help.
My name is Miki and I am the co-director of the Gilbert House Catholic Worker Community. As many others have already expressed, we have resources to serve you and to help keep you and your baby safe from harm. You are a precious woman, sacred and deserving of protection. Don’t give up! Reach out to any of us, and we will get you to safe harbour.
I and the members of my house will be praying for you and your child.
In Christ, peace!
You are loved. You will make it. Your baby is a blessing. Trust your heart and the little voice inside…it is God.
Precious Kara,
My heart aches for you and I am praying for you. I know your situation feels impossible right now, but you are not alone in this. There are people who want to help you and want the best for you. Please do not cave into the pressure from anyone to abort your baby. You are already a mommy and your baby needs you and your protection over him/her as they grow in your tummy. I know it’s a scary time. I got pregnant for the first time when I was 19 and I too felt all alone and I thought abortion would solve my problems and relieve my fears. It did not. I so regret my abortion and the loss of my baby. You can never take back this decision sweet Kara, and you will likely carry a huge ache in your heart if you go through with the abortion. And as stated above, there is a very high chance the relationship won’t last after the abortion. Abortion puts a lot of strain on relationships because it ends the live of precious baby. Stand strong for what you know in your heart to be the right thing.
Blessings,
Karen
Dear Kara,
I do not know you, but I have walked your steps.
I am a mother of three daughters, ages 7, 10, and 12; and over 6 years ago, my husband pressured me into an abortion due to unknown gender. Because I refused to take a gender test, at 11 weeks, the results of which would not yield until week 13. He is the eldest of 3 sons, and told me just one week following the birth of our third daughter, that he was “not complete without a son.”
A year and a half later, I became pregnant and he said he only wanted a son for a 4th.
When I refused to take the gender test, he turned against the pregnancy. The immediate pressure to abort was severe.
I could not fill out the final box on the admit form at the clinic that day, which read Coercion Yes/No, because I knew the circumstance within my marriage and that ethically, I could not bear to abort.
The social worker at the clinic herself said I should not be there. My husband kept reading Sports Illustrated, pretended as though nothing was wrong.
We are now in the midst of a bitter divorce.
I was pressured by my husband and I deeply regret not having stood up to him. I regularly recall that morning in the clinic with deepest sorrow and regret, and have experienced PASS.
I will pray for you as you walk this journey.
There is a barbell effect to abortion of which no one speaks- those between 18-25, then again between 35-50. Often the circumstances are quite different at each end, but the singular constant is coercion.
The forbidden grief which accompanies abortion is not fleeting. It stays with you, to your deepest core.
We might have ended up getting divorced anyway given things were already on a bad track; but there is not a single day I don’t think of that 4th child, I had already grown to love and wanted to protect, within me.
May God Bless You and keep you close.
Kara,
I too have been in your position. When faced with the threat of my death if I did not abort, I managed to fake an abortion. Saving my baby saved my life.
I was held as a sex trafficking victim, but my captor let me go. I kept my baby and married. I have a wonderful husband and a great family.
You can too.
God believes in you and has a good plan for your life and for your baby. I will keep praying for you.
Oh Kara, I am praying for you right now. Even if it feels like there is no possible solution… God can always intervene on your behalf! He loves you and He loves your baby!! He will provide for y’all no matter how it looks right now.
Abortion will not just appease your boyfriend… it will hurt more than you can imagine for longer than you expect.
Choosing LIFE for your son or daughter may be difficult temporarily and maybe even upset your boyfriend… but you will have given life to a child… life.
Children are the only gift we have on earth that we can take with us to eternity. God loved you so much that He gave His Son, Jesus so that you could have eternal life and so that you can be free from the bondages of death.
Choosing death for your baby will put you in bondage to that death that Jesus already defeated. Please choose Life.
You can do it!
Hi Kara. My name is Kevin and I have a daughter named Kara. I am so touched by your words and situation. You are and will continue to be in my prayers. I am going to forward your request to my prayer partners also. It always takes my breath away to see how willing and eager God’s People are to respond and offer practical help like the folks here have done. I hope you to take them up on their offers. I sense that out of it you will forge life long friendships and will find yourself wondering if God crafted all these things Just so he could reveal how incredibly precious you and your baby are to Him.
I want to share with you the voice of six girls who have walked similar a similar path to yours. Five sent these messages to me after their abortions and one decided to keep her baby. She just sent me pictures of her baby and her family several weeks ago. Her husband and daughter are beside her hospital bed praying and if you could just see the expression on her face and see the way she is holding her new baby your heart would skip a beat. I’ll share her message first. I will send it separately from this because Im afraid when I retrieve them I will lose this one.
Know that you are loved and being prayed for Kara, kevin
Kara,
I’m praying for you! I have been in the same situation with pressure from the boyfriend, and then not wanting to tell my parents for fear they would kick me out of the house. I chose the abortion and…it was the worst choice I’ve made. Don’t live with regret… You are strong and courageous for reaching out. Keep seeking help. Today, I believe there are people who are living in your town/city who can and will help you through this!
You are in my prayers! (Father God, give Kara strength and courage beyond her own…to stand up and fight for what she says is the right choice, keeping her baby. Bring people to her side to encourage and help her through this crisis…for Your thoughts about Kara far outnumber the grains of sand and You love her beyond measure. Amen)
Kara,
When I was younger, I pressured my girlfriend into an abortion, too. Three, actually. Our relationship didn’t survive it.
Over time, though, I came to regret those decisions – especially when I learned the truth about what it was we had aborted. All three of my aborted children were just little babies. I saw pictures of what my babies looked like at the time of the abortions: they had arms, legs, even tiny little fingers and toes (i could count them). (There’s a great website http://www.ehd.org that has a Prenatal Timeline that can show you what your kiddo is doing right now.)
Later, when my wife became pregnant with our first, I was overwhelmed by how much love and protectiveness I could feel for a baby that hadn’t even been born yet, only to realize that I failed to love and protect the three with my previous girlfriend. It destroyed me, messing me up for more than ten years later. The reminders were EVERYWHERE, especially in the face my new baby girl, I couldn’t escape it.
PLEASE don’t do this to your baby. Or to yourself.
Right now you are carrying two buckets – one filled with all the reasons you feel you have to have an abortion, and one filled with all the reasons you don’t want to have one. Once you have the abortion, you get to put down the first bucket – no more tension with your boyfriend, mom starts being nice again, you won’t be afraid of what your dad might do…. It may feel like a tremendous relief.
The problem is that once you “put down” the first bucket, you have to carry the second bucket for the rest of your life. (And I’m not throwing stones here, I’ve lived this.) You will come to believe that you are murderer. A murderer of you own child. And what kind of parent could do that? Even if you have children in the future, it will haunt you, accuse you, and scream at you every time you get a reminder. Every year on the anniversary of the abortion. Every year when you pass your due date and think of the fact you should be celebrating a birthday instead of crying your eyes out. When your girlfriends all start getting pregnant, and when their kids are born. You won’t be able to escape it. Ever.
Now, having said all that, you won’t believe the number of people there are out there that are willing to help you keep your baby. And the lengths they are willing to go to do it. Personally, I bought a house with an extra room just so I can bring in pregnant girls that have been kicked out by their parents, so they won’t be forced to abort. Even help them raise their kiddos if necessary. You won’t know without talking to them. You can email me at jarrellhere@gmail.com or find me on Facebook and I’ll help hook you up with some local people.
And, like everybody else here, gonna keep praying for you. It’s a hard spot to be in.
Your intrusive friend,
JP
Thank you for sharing your side, and your realization. I found it very comforting.
Hi Kara, this is kevin. Here are their messages. Starting with the one who chose life.
1. “I was horribly torn and upset that whole evening pondering whether or not my decision was the best one. I refused to allow my husband to go with me. Not that I didnt want the support I just didnt want this to scar more people than it had to. I was scheduled for my procedure on Friday at 9:00 . At 8:30am. I sat in the parking lot and I wept. I was so upset. There was no way I could get out of my car and let this precious baby go. I put my car in drive and drove away as quickly as possible. I arrived home to find my husband sobbing and obviously surprised to see me so quickly. I explained that I just couldnt do it. He was relieved and knelt down to kiss my stomach. So I am proud to announce that our family will be growing by one beautiful human being in September. This wasn’t our plan. But I have faith that it is Gods and we will be ok. Thank you for your kind words. While sitting in that parking lot making that last minute decision, I reread your message.”
A week later this same girl sent me this message 😉
“Thank you for the prayers! It is amazing how much more at peace my family is since making the right decision. Financially God has blessed us beyond belief in the past week. We own a small car dealership that was struggling. This week we have sold every vehicle on our lot. Which is truly amazing. We plan on telling our families next week. I am pretty worried about how our 10 year old daughter will take the news. I am sure after some adjustment she will be great. She is an amazing sibling to her brother. And he loves her beyond words. I am feeling wonderful as well which is a welcomed surprise. I guess its true God really doesnt give you more than he is willing to help you with. I did check out your website. It is amazing what you do! I spent 7 years as a hospice nurse and I can tell you have the same passion I have. Thank you for sharing these stories with the world.”
Sweetheart I recently produced a documentary in which we interviewed many women who conceived and had children under some of the most adverse conditions imaginable and out of it became some of the most incredible individuals I have ever encountered. The native Americans would often pass by medicinal herbs growing right next to their tents and hike to mountain tops to gather plants where the adverse conditions and difficult environment would yield the most beneficial and potent and valuable Plants. So it is with us. God uses these challenges and adversities to shape us and to form us into who He wants us to become. My prayers are with you.
conceivedinrape.com
These are the voices of five girls who went through with their abortions.
1. ” I am not ok. I had the abortion. I shouldnt have. This was the worst mistake of my life. The father is gone and he’s fine. If I could die, I would. Prayers don’t help. Nothing helps. I died with the baby, but my body still breathes.”
2. ” thank you for the prayers. I regret throwing away a blessing that was given to me and it is hard to see value in oneself and to forgive myself after that. thank you for the resources”
3. “Thank u for the scriptures n encouragement. It just really hurts and I have many mixed emotions. I feel robbed and I blame myself. But im trying to heal.”
4 “Hello Kevin and Jim
I couldn’t reply to your note for while. Replay links are not working on this site. Also this week was tough for me. Yes we did tx last week. I don’t know if I will ever be the same after this.
You know looking back, reading your note, I thought maybe this is the way God is talking to me…through you and Jim. I was searching my heart, prayed and didn’t hear a word from God.
I read whole bible few times, I brought few people close to God and loved God so much. I never took one birth control pill ever, I spent all my savings to go through IVF, left my job to relax to conceive…I gave it ALL. Where is My faith and my believe today? I dont know…
Your note is beautiful and also hurts my heart. Yes maybe I wish I didn’t know the truth and I’d be forced to accept the truth and live with it. I was and I am still scared. Forgive me”
5. I’ve been wondering this since my abortion one month ago: why is almost everyone on this board so miserable about their choice? I came to this board early on before I decided to terminate my pregnancy. I received a lot of reassurance from women who were “okay” with their decision. Now, it seems like a steady stream of women who are in various states of numbness and grief. Myself, I’ve had numb days, drunk days and incredibly sad days. I have yet to feel okay. Is it just because it is early on or does it always feel painful? In my head I thought abortion would be like a new start – erasure of a moment of poor judgment. Instead the pain of being pregnant unexpectedly has been replaced with the pain of “what if”. I feel guilty about the pain I’ve caused myself and my partner. I feel guilty that I’ve denied my son a sibling. I just don’t get it – if the majority of women feel fine from their choice then why are so many of us so miserable?
Kara, please look deep inside your heart and ask God to meet you there. If you ask in sincerity He Will give you direction and the strength you need. I promise. Let me pray for you now.
Precious Jesus I ask that you give Kara such a clear revelation of Who You Are and how much You love her that she will be unable to do anything but fall crazy in love with you and put her trust in you. Please give her the complete assurance that You are the Author of life and that You are willing and able to help her in every circumstance either directly or through Your People. In the Matchless and Changeless Name of Jesus I pray. Amen
Kara,
I am so proud of you for standing strong to protect your baby even when others want you to follow their choice rather than yours! It takes great courage to do what you know is right when others don’t agree. But, that courage tells me you are already a great mother.
I know this is a very hard time and am praying for you!
Hi Kara
Things often look bleak when there is an unexpected pregnancy or one of the parents-to-be doesn’t want a child for whatever reason…
Look at the present and to the future…God has placed in your womb a precious little baby that is growing day by day…someone you will be able to cherish and love and who will be a big part of your life…someone who will make you smile and cry with joy…your son or daughter.
So many people don’t have kids today…either by choice or because some aren’t able to due to being infertile. It’s so hard for them … they want to conceive so badly. One option, if you are worried about taking care of the baby, would be adoption. It’s a healthier option for your body because abortion sets you up for a higher risk of breast cancer and causes mental, spiritual and physical pain – during the procedure and after. Women deal with their loss in different ways…some get addicted to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain, others to things that are not wholesome, some get depressed, and so forth. It’s not a happy picture. The memory of what took place always comes back to haunt one.
A large group of women who have had abortions and regret them, have joined Silent No More. They have a website. These women travel to all sorts of different places giving their testimony…why they had an abortion, the effects of it on them, how they got their life back together and found healing and what they would tell other women who are thinking of having one. Their testimonies are so heart-wrenching…women of all different ages and races. I haven’t checked their website recently but they might have testimonies on it. I have even heard men give their testimonies and they are equally heart-wrenching.
If you are able to take care of the baby, go for it….and have your baby–if you ask God, he will provide for your needs in the way He knows best; people who have no children will age and then be so lonely in their later years with no memories of children… the first moment out of mommy’s tummy, the first bath, birthday, school day, graduation and so forth. It’s worth all the pain (labour I mean), and what have you…. babies are God’s precious gift to us …. plus when you are old and sick, your child will be there to help you and surround you with the love you gave to him/her. My greatest joy is taking care of my 93 & 7 months old mom who has Alzheimer’s but is functional. She broke her hip in the summer and is recovering. I thank God for the opportunity to give back to her in appreciation for all she did for me in my life. May you be that kind of mom too…
May God bless and strengthen you as you make your decision.
p.s. Why not call The Sisters of Life in the US if you are there and they will support you through your pregnancy…they will give you a place to stay, feed you, and help you furnish a place if you need one and help you with things you will need for your baby…
I’ll be praying for you and your pre-born.
Wendy
Hi Mama Kara –
Years ago, my brother called me distraught because his new wife was pregnant and they were hoping to postpone children because she was in college. She was born in Russia and under the godless Communist rule, abortion became the de-facto “birth control” available. That was what her mom grew up with, and her mom was pressuring her to have an abortion as well. As it turned out, my husband was preparing a mini-sermon type message for our congregation about the issue of abortion. So I invited my brother and his wife to our congregation and they came and they went home. I never heard a word from either of them, and prayed they were not offended. Today, their beautiful daughter just turned sweet 16 yesterday (Oct 22), and is a talented gift to God’s world, fluent in several languages, a pianist, a violinist, a dancer, I could go on. Remember that God allows things for a reason… Remember that Mother Mary was not yet married when she became pregnant with Jesus our Savior….
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!
((((HUGS!!))))
Dear Kara,
The greatest profession is that of being a mother and that is what you are right now. I am praying that you will get everything you need to be brave and
have your baby . You will never be sorry that you had him/or her.
Dear Kara-
Please keep in mind that abortion is not, and should never be considered, a form of birth control. Realize that birth begins at the moment of conception…not when a child is born. The moment we discover our pregnancy–oh, the worries we have, along with a time constraint to make a decision, wreaks havoc on us. We feel like we are alone. We stress ourselves thinking about what to do, how to conceal it, whom to tell (if anyone), what others will think, and so on. When I had a fling at 36 years old, I wasn’t dating anyone. My son’s dad and I had just broken up and I was just meeting guys. Unfortunately, the one guy I met didn’t turn out to be what I expected. (Life happens.) I found out that he was living with a girlfriend, he was unemployed, and he wasn’t able to (or wanted to) make a decision about what to do about our pregnancy. (Not only that, he had a child with another woman, and he had also impregnated another woman!) I am gainfully employed, but I had to make a decision. There were so many factors involved, But, as each moment went by, this baby would continue to grow. I went through with the abortion.
Unfortunately, in my naivete (yes, at 36 years old), I think back and wished I hadn’t. I’m not sure if I can become pregnant again. I went through so much guilt and grief, not to mention worried (again) about whom I can confide with my story. And, society doesn’t view abortion like a death in the family, or the loss of a loved one. They take sides of what you should have or haven’t done. They hold strong opinions of you about your actions. I was able to reach out to a Rachel’s Hope retreat in my area one month after my abortion. Although I was a complete wreck about my personal tragedy, I felt relieved that others felt, they knew, my pain. They had been there, too. Some had regret. But there was so much relief, in understanding my situation. Had I known then, what I know now, I would not have chosen to abort.
There is so much support you can receive in your moment of worry and fear. Know that you can reach out and ask for help, and help will be there for you.
My parting words…please be strong to carry this pregnancy through. Feel it with all your heart, believe in yourself as others believe in you. I believe in you. I’ll pray for you. God bless you.
Hi Kara,
I know it’s the hardest thing to trust that God will make this turn out good for you, but He will. Satan will throw everything he can at you to get you to kill your child and have to live with that the rest of your life. Don’t be deceived. God wants you to choose life and He will grant you all that you and your baby need. Keep up the faith! You are in my prayers and the prayers of many others.
No one can legally force you to have an abortion. Go to the Center Against Forced Abortion at http://www.thejusticefoundation.com for help
Kara,
I pray for your continued strength as you live out God’s plan for you to embark on the journey of motherhood. I’m sure it will be challenging and I pray for your ability to hold on, then become the best mother you can be. Remember you are NEVER alone. You have a great deal of support in all of us and in the Lord.
You know in your heart there is so much support out there for you. I lost a son this way it tears at my heart still . My wife regrets the day she walked in that clinic. When your child is born you will see your family will love him the ones that matter will. I’m sure your heart already knows what to do thinking of you and your unborn child
Dear Kara,
Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your baby, and your boyfriend, and all involved, from down here in Australia.
I want you to know that God loves you very much as his creation, and that He is with you, in every moment and every situation. You are infinitely loved – and so is your baby.
Blessings,
Fr Robin SJ
Good day Father,
My boyfriend is from australia, I will not abort my baby, he just called today to say sorry and end up our relationship and telling that he will send all my things, he is serious for that, its hard for me, but still im hoping and praying that soon everything will gonna be alright.
Please include us on your prayers, thank you very much.
God bless you all,
kara
thank yo
You are in my prayers daily, Kara. I’m also including your parents in my prayers, that they may be understanding and supportive.
Dearest Kara,
I can hear the pain, desperation and confusion in your words and my heart and prayers go out to you and your baby.
I understand what you are feeling because many years ago I was in a similar situation.
Kara, there IS HELP OUT THERE FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY.
PLEASE REACH OUT AND TAKE IT !!
If I had known that , I would not have felt so alone and helpless and hopeless and I would not have had my abortion. I know first hand the horror of having an abortion, the total despair, pain, regret, self hatred and destruction that having an abortion will cause you for the rest of your life. I hope and pray that I can say just one thing that will keep you and your baby safe.
Here are some places for you for help . I am only going to mention a few so it isn’t too confusing
Right here on this site where you already are. Give them the information they have asked you for so they can help you.
They can help refer you to a place close to your home.
I don’t know where you live but call or go to any place that is a PRO LIFE crisis help pregnancy center and they will help you. By that I mean NOT anyplace that does abortions or refers you for abortions , like Planned Parenthood or the like. Stay far away from any place like that.
I don’t even know if you are in the US but
Here on Long Island, NY where I live, there is the Life Center they have a 24 hour hotline . The # is 631 243- 0066.
Even if you do not live near here , you can call that phone # Kara and good, loving , non judgmental people will answer the phone , listen to you and find ways help you and your baby near where you live.
You can call the Sisters of Life, they have a toll free # 877 777 -1277.
They are wonderful and devote their whole lives to helping people , especially someone like you right now. It doesn’t matter what religion you are, they will help everybody. The Sisters have many , many ways they can help you. They can try to help you talk to your boyfriend and parents. The Sisters have houses especially for pregnant girls to live in who need help. They help you with medical care, school, job, food , and baby items.
I know you are afraid to speak with your father; I was afraid to go to mine too.
Can you ask someone to go with you to help? Maybe a family member or friend or your priest or pastor . Someone from one of these places I mentioned would be sure to try to help your family understand and even your boyfriend too.
Kara, my child would be 30 years old today if I had not agreed to go have that abortion that ended his life. There has not been a single day for any second of these 30 years that I have not thought of my baby. If there is one moment in time I would do anything to have over, it is that moment walking into Planned Parenthood. It is the moment of every second of being in that horrible, evil place that every fiber of my being was screaming , ” Run! Run out the door as fast as you can ! ”
That was God’s voice speaking into every corner of my being. But out of fear of my boyfriend leaving as he threatened to do , out of fear of my parents ” killing me “if they found out I was pregnant, because I felt like I had no where and no one to turn to , because I was ashamed, I did not run. Not only did my child die that day, but so did the girl I was before I had the abortion.
Having an abortion may seem like a quick solution to the problem of getting pregnant but IT IS NOT ! Instead what happens is that the death of that child and the abortion procedure itself become what causes you a lifetime of whole new and even worse problems and issues.
There are emotional, spiritual , psychological, relationship issues and even health issues.
The relationship with my boyfriend changed immediately because there was now a part of me that hated him for what he pressured me to do. I could never look at him the same way. Eventually, he left me for another woman anyway.
Years after the abortion, I did tell my parents what I had done , the very people who I so feared finding out that I was pregnant. Their reaction was opposite what I had thought, they were saddened and asked me, why I had not come to them
I made a horrible, terribly wrong decision to have an abortion based on fear, pressure and hopelessness.
Kara, if you have an abortion, you will never be the same , nothing will ever be the same and you will forever miss having your sweet baby in your arms.
Please reach out to someplace for help for you and your precious child .
I will hold you both in love and prayer and lift you up to the Lord .
Joy
I
Dear Kara,
All of us know you have reached out to us because you WANT to have this baby and you WANT to be the best mother to your darling child that you can be. You have already made this decision in your heart; you only need to have the courage to follow through. Your faith in God and in your own love and maternal strength shine through in the words by which you have expressed your situation to us. In our prayers, we are sending you our encouragement and support. We will all send you financial and material support as well, if given the opportunity. Meantime, please find a church pastor or clergyman who can assist you in locating an agency where you live that will help you obtain obstetrical care and housing during your pregnancy.
Kara, you are being prayed for in Poland, by Franciscan priests and Catholic laypeople who know about your situation.
The most holy Mother of Jesus is praying for you. She said ‘Yes’ to her Son’s life, as you are now saying ‘Yes’ to your child’s life. She understands that it will not be easy – and she is with you. Her Son is with you, because Jesus’s whole life was lived so that you – and your baby – could have life, and life in abundance.
God bless you and your little one! You are both precious in the sight of God!
I continue to pray for you, Kara.
You are never alone.
For those who did proceed due to coercion, there is a ministry for recovery and support called Rachel’s Mission/Retreat. It is located outside Baltimore, and you attend with others (both women and men), trying to heal from the wound of abortion. It is a very intense weekend, but you are able to name your unborn child and offer that child to Christ through a special service at the end.
This does not mean the suffering ends; but to be in with a group of total strangers and share each one’s stories, plus ministry present, is powerful.
But Kara, I don’t want you to have to sit in those chairs; to have to attend due to the endless grief and longing for your child back. Some people in the room were women whose abortions had been 40 years prior. I don’t know how old you are but that is a mantle of lifelong regret. Mine was nearly 7 years and not a day goes by where I don’t think of that spirit. My husband fully detached over not having a son following the birth of our third precious, healthy, beautiful baby girl. This is an unrelated issue but it has been equally wounding on my end.
Be strong. God will provide a support system and surround you with help. You may not know them personally, now, nor can envision their faces, but they exist.
This decision is yours and yours alone.
Do not give into the evil of coercion- it is the manifestation and living embodiment of Satan at work: as it is the ultimate Unchoice.
Read Psalm 91 in your most fearful, dark hours in navigating your way.
You are strong. Choose Life.
Tell Satan to get behind you.
The wreckage which follows is to his delight and it is Jesus who created us each, in His glorious image. Lean on Him.
I will continue to hold you in prayer.
Kara:
Your situation has touched me deeply as I have a passion for those we serve at our local pregnancy resource center. I am so proud of you for reaching out for help before making a hasty decision. That speaks volumes because so many women do not think about the long term consequences and then they have to live with the pain of regret. God cares about you and He knows what you are going through. He is also aware of the many people praying and interceding for you and how that speaks to His heart. He created you and your child and “His plans for you are to give you a hope and a future”, as Jeremiah 29:11 says.
Kara, trust in Christ alone and know that the Son of God Himself is asking His Father to protect you and your precious child.
You matter to Him.
Blessings,
Diane
Dear Kara,
I thank you for wanting to choose life for your child. I am writing from the child’s perspective because I was conceived in rape and my birth mother chose to give birth to me even though I was conceived in this way. She was only 16. I was adopted in a loving home when I was an infant. I am now 52 and I have 3 adult children and 5 grandchildren (so far!) and I thank the Lord our God for His amazing blessings in my life! Your child wants to live! And I appreciate the fact that you are willing to give life to your child. Your life will be so enriched, Kara! There are so many who are praying for you and who are supporting you right now. You are never, never alone. God is always holding you in His precious arms and He is knitting that little child in your womb at this moment. Your child is already thanking you for choosing life! You are an amazing gift from God and your child is a blessing that you will enjoy and thank the Lord for.
Considering how I was conceived, my birth mother could have chosen to abort me. I have met her and that is the first thing I told her was to thank her for not aborting me. It was God’s plan that I am here, and it’s His plan that your child is born as well. You are already a caring mother and one day soon you will hold that little blessing in your arms.
Lean on the Lord God and He will always be there for you. He will never betray your trust. He is there for you in ways you cannot even imagine now. And He’s waiting for you to trust Him completely with this. He will never leave you nor will he abandon you. Walk in faith with Him. He will give you the strength and courage you need to face what you need to face and do what you need to do. He is amazing, Kara! We serve an awesome God who loves us, you and your child, more than you could ever possibly know… And you will see His love through your child, in those beautiful eyes that will look up to you and say, “Mommy, thank you for letting me see your face. I love you, Mommy…”
May the Lord Jesus shine His heart upon you, Kara. May He enclose you in His sweet loving arms and embrace the wonder of you that He created and that He is still creating in you through your child. You are blessed, my dear…
Hugs from Canada… XXX000
Please do not make this mistake. I will pray for you.
Dear Kara,
Know that so many people are thinking and praying for you. I understand that your situation is difficult. But please realize that this baby is a precious gift. When you are holding your little son or daughter in your arms, you will feel that all you are going through now is worth it. You will be known as a strong woman who faced difficult circumstances and still did the courageous, loving thing for her child and herself.
If you had an abortion, you would be left with an empty womb and empty arms and an empty, aching heart. Please don’t do that to yourself.
There is help out there. I know that God will lead you to that help, and He will give you strength. I am praying for you daily. Lean on God’s strength. Please keep in touch with us.
Beautiful, precious, daughter of God,
My heart goes out to you. God loves you and your baby so much. He is flooding you with the love of His people – even strangers to support you and show you how much He loves you. I will pray for you to continue to have strength during this difficult time. I have 2 lil girls and I am so grateful everyday when I spend time with them that God was so generous as to give me these darling children to protect and teach of His love. Choose life for this gift from God and He will provide for you always. It isn’t easy but the love you will be overcome by when you see your precious child will be lasting and will make other things easier to deal with. You can’t believe the love.. It is incredible. The love you feel for your boyfriend feels so intense but just wait until you are holding your very own baby that is completely dependent on you for love, care, safety… it is a completely different and unimaginable love. And to think this amazingly enormous love is small compared to how much God loves you and your baby. 🙂 I mean He loves you so much He created you, and now your dear sweet baby.
God bless you dear Kara. I will be storming heaven with prayers for you and your dear child.
Elizabeth
Dearest Kara,
I know you are depressed and so much weighs heavy on your heart right now.
Please know that I have asked many people to pray for you and her child and everyone involved in this with you.
Please don’t stop trying to call the phone #s given to you. Don’t give up ! One day when you are holding this baby close to you, you will be so happy that you kept trying.
Surrounding you in protective prayer with many prayer warriors,
Joy
Kara, I continue to pray for you. Discernment is not an easy road to travel. Yet, you have the answer in your heart. Blessings are brought about in the Calvary of making the right choice.
Dearest Kara and Beautiful Baby,
I have been praying for you both. I am so very happy to hear that you have not crumbled under the weight of pressure from your baby’s father or from your family.
What courage it must have taken for you to tell your father !
Even if it is not easy, you and your baby will be together . I will continue to pray that your family and your priest support you. Maybe once that sweet baby is born your parents ‘ hearts will melt. Maybe your priest can talk to your father and mother.
I pray you get the help from the people and organizations that can assist you.
Remember Our Virgin Mary was pregnant with Our Lord Jesus when she was so young and not yet married to ST Joseph. Pray for her intercessions and for her to help and guide you. She understands .
Praying for you all
Jioy
FYI, here is a list of pregnancy help centers, maternity homes etc. in the Philippines:
http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/307497/lifestyle/peopleandevents/care-during-crisis-a-help-desk-and-resource-list-for-single-moms
All these testimonies are interesting; I thought I’d add mine because it’s a little different. It happened long ago (I’m in my 50s now) and I have long since healed, both emotionally and spiritually; but I didn’t have the issues initially that many of your writers had (mine came later): At age 19, and a sophomore in college; I became pregnant after my first sexual encounter. I mention that it was my first because I had no idea I was pregnant for many months. My menses did not cease until I was 5 months pregnant! When I went to the doctor to find out what was going on I was in shock. I tried crazy things like jumping out of a 2nd floor window (hoping to “jar” the baby); and taking quinine (it just made my ears ring). By the time I’d cried for days; talked to my (eventual) husband, spoken with an agency called Birthright (at the time a very gentle pro-life agency that let me make up my own mind); prayed about it, and told my parents – I’d decided to keep the baby. However, at the time I started to lose her: and my 7-month preemie was born. God is a miracle worker and my beautiful baby girl made it (and lived to be the wonderful woman she is today).
But that’s not the end of the story. When my daughter was about 4 months I (now a married woman); found I was pregnant again. I hadn’t had the chance to start birth control; had just returned to college; was a teen bride (in a shaky marriage); and abortion was illegal without my husband’s permission in my state. Without a second thought I flew to New York (without telling my husband where I was going), and got the abortion. I never thought about it twice until the moment of the abortion when I suddenly burst into tears. Years later when I was degreed; my marriage was now stronger and happy; my child was older; and my husband and I decided to have more children; I found I couldn’t bring my babies to term. After several miscarriages, I thought God was punishing me for the abortion I’d had (actually, I’d probably always had the weak cervix). I went to my pastor about my emotional struggles and he had a good discussion with me as well as turned me to my bible. I now don’t believe that God was getting “revenge” on me, but I do believe that sometimes our decisions can cause us to have consequences for our actions we might not expect.
Here’s the kicker- I still don’t believe it’s my right to push my beliefs on someone else. I made my own mistakes-nobody stopped me legally. Even with all my mistakes, God has blessed me with wonderful grandchildren from that one baby I tried not to have – and almost lost. So for me, I see both sides of the problem and have a hard time judging others who want to make their own decisions.
I LOVE YOUR TESTIMONY{STORY} . I WAS TOLD THAT I WAS DOING A SERVICE TO MY BABY BY HAVING AN ABORTION BECAUSE I HAD DONE DRUGS,BUT GOD HAD DELIVERED ME FROM THAT BUT FAMILY AND MY BOYFRIEND STILL PUSHED IT ON ME…….I NOW BELIEVE THAT :GOD: HAS A REASON AND VERY GOOD ONE, IN EXCHANGE FOR ALL OF OUR REALLY BAD ONES…….SHEILA
I hev a one year old baby but we are separated with the father now im pregnant for my boyfrend.i didnt tell him that i have a baby now he wants me to move in with him.i want to abort coz my family will be disapointed .help me pliz
Don’t abort just because you’re afraid your family will be disappointed. The trauma you will suffer will be far worse than any temporary embarrassment. I emphasize temporary embarrassment because your family will not only quickly adjust and accept you and your children, they will love your new child. While it may never be said, the truth will be that your child will be a blessing on you and all of them, even though at this moment the surprise announcement that you are bringing this child into the world will catch them off guard and may even upset them.
Be strong, for the sake of both your baby and protecting yourself from the physical and psychological effects of an abortion.
I know you are also afraid that your boyfriend will be upset about you already having another child. Again, be prepared to accept a temporary surprise and disappointment and confusion on his part. But actually, this is a good test of whether or not he is really a loving man. A man who is really able to love as you want and deserve to be loved can and will open his heart to both you and all of your children. If he can’t, your better off without him.
He may need some time to think about it and weigh all of this in his heart, and to meet your one year old and to feel the potential of loving your child as a father well up in his heart. So give him some time. But don’t do anything rash and do be prepared to protect yourself and your children from a relationship that is not truly loving if he cannot accept and love all of you.
Don’t have an abortion. Be honest with your boyfriend and your family. There may be some unsettling days ahead, but stay the course. Protect your children and yourself. Trust that God has a plan for you. Every child He gives you comes with blessings and new opportunities. In the long run, you will always be thankful for each of your children. But an abortion will haunt you forever.
Finally, I strongly encourage you to seek the advice–and most importantly, the friendship–of a pregnancy help counselor. She may even be able to help with some of the family dynamics and with your boyfriend.
You are in our prayers.
Ah, okay. Well, I am happy that I was able to obtain a safe, legal abortion quickly when finding out I was pregnant. I’m grateful to the kind doctor and nurse who were not just supportive physically, but also emotionally. It was the most appropriate choice for me at the time and I am not ashamed of my choice.
Thanks!
We are glad that you did not have the impersonal experience reported by many. We hope you continue to cope well and also hope you will understand and respect that many women do not cope so well.
I’d like to thank you guys for all your information on the site. It’s rather eye-opening and shows you a part of abortion that is not as known.
In school for my government class I am working on an advertisement about Pro-Life and was wondering if I could quote some of the lines in these testimonies as long as I site your website in my sources. Do I have permission to do that?
Yes. You may quote material from our web site.
We are two close friends living together, my friend had sex with a lady, soon my friend decided to end their relationship, however then the same young lady got pregnant, so the lady explained everything to me, my friend wasn’t ready for all responsibities for what happened and he was willing to deny the pregnacy, the lady loved and still loves him.
Nevertheless the lady called on phone, “she said there is no way she can have a child with no father, she decided to have the abortion, she asked not to share it with my friend. This happened six weeks ago, but what’s bothering me too much is that i really feel guilty on my part, what should i do??
We feel sorry for you and all those involved. It appears your feelings of guilt arise because you feel like you perhaps have said or done something else which would have helped her to decide against the abortion or to help your friend to show commitment to her and the baby.
All I can suggest is the following. First, pray for her and your friend, that they both will have a conversion of heart and repent and renew a commitment to living chaste lives before marriage and lives open to new life after marriage. Pray also to open your heart to whatever God is teaching you through this experience about ways you can speak up with love and compassion to help people around you, both in avoiding sin and finding repentance and healing after a sin.
Do not wallow in your feelings of guilt. Perhaps it would be helpful to confess that you “should have done more,” even if you don’t know what more you could have done. But doing so is primarily so you will build up your resolve to be more thoughtful and persistent and creative in the future when faced with a similar opportunity to intervene and give good advice. I have to think that God is allowing this incident to impact you as it is because He is using it to prepare you to better serve other in the future. So focus on the future and don’t let yourself get bogged down in the past.
I have a response to Nia Scott. I dont know if happy is the right word. I think its probably natural to feel stupid in a crisis pregnancy because most of the time it seems an apparent preventable avoidable decision could have been made. Extreme relief is a more approriate feeling. That is how I could describe my feelings. Regret and guilt are things I’m trying to force myself into. As a Catholic mother of seven living children, I struggle with the inability to receive the sacrament of reconciliation with no true purpose of amendment. I’m overwhelmed all the time and could not possibly bear to have another child. I’d love to go on a rachels vineyard retreat but feel id be the only person who’s not remoseful. I haven’t read any story of anyone close to how I feel. Perhaps maybe my feelings would change but i do not see how I could ever feel like it would be possible for me to handle another even healthy child. So even though I’m struggling with mental health issues I dont believe it is just numbness and denial. I think I’m completely reasonable to avoid having another child. Nonetheless I found myself pregnant at least four times in the last couple years. Ordering pills and recipes online provided a non traumatic way for me to have abortions at home with no one knowing but my husband. I believe this took away much of the grief I’ve read about from the women who had a clinic experience.
Thank you for sharing, and I’m very sorry for the long response time. With a very small staff, it’s hard to respond to posts in a timely fashion.
A couple of things. You mentioned struggling “with the inability to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation.” I would suggest finding a good priest to talk to about this issue, even outside of the sacrament. Your local diocese probably has an office that provides post-abortion help, and there is often a priest connected with this ministry who is trained in this area. Try searching your diocesan web site for such an office (it might be called Project Rachel or be listed as part of the diocesan pro-life or social justice ministries) or call the diocesan offices to ask. Or visit the Project Rachel web site at http://www.hopeafterabortion.org and click on “Find Help” to find local offices.
You also mentioned that you would love to attend a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat but don’t know if you should because you might not share the same feelings as the other attendees. While I can’t speak for the people at Rachel’s Vineyard, I would think that it isn’t necessary to feel a certain way or to have been traumatized by abortion to attend a retreat. I am sure you would be welcome no matter where you are at on this issue.
If this kind of setting seems uncomfortable but you still want to work through any unresolved issues, you might want to look for a mental health professional or an organization that offers one-on-one counseling. The Abortion Recovery web site lists many different types of counseling resources on their site at http://www.abortionrecovery.org (or you can call them at 1-866-469-7326).
catholic mother of 7 does home style abortions via potions etc ? c’mon girl,give us all a break and not all out here are unfamilar with the scatology posted online either.
None of your testimonies feature women who are happy that they got an abortion and experience no regret, shame, or guilt in choosing what’s best for them. You’re leaving out a huge number of women that are perfectly fine with their choice. It’s leading me to believe that nothing can be trusted on this website, because it’s all biased.
Anyone is welcome to provide such a testimony.
I’m very frustrated and troubled with this website. So when another testimonial says they dont trust your website I can definitel;y understand. I’m just upset that I finally drew the courage to speak up and you are the third prolife website to ignore me. I’ve made two unsuccesful phone calls as well. Your information says be careful about who you call and here is a list of 10 to choose from. I guess thats helpful. I believe I’ll make contact with the right person at the right time. I just thought you should know how hurtful its been for me to get no response when I’ve seen you respond to everyone else.
Hi Aimee,
We don’t recall seeing your earlier post and apologize if we did not respond when you requested it of us. Regarding the phone numbers listed on our resource page, obviously they are not all ours so have no control over whether calls get answered.
How can we help you?
I guess you can’t. Thanks for your response. Aimee
WHEN I WAS 17, I WAS IN LOVE WITH A HIGH_ PROFILE DRUG DEALER. I WAS HOOKED ON CRYSTAL METH,COKE,WEED,CRANK AND PILLS. I LOVED THE LIFE OF BEING IN THE FAST LANE,UNTIL IT CAUGHT UP WITH ME. I WAS DOWN TO 100 POUNDS AND MY MOM COULD’NT EVEN RECOGNIZE ME. AFTER SHE LEFT.
, I WENT AND LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND SAW A SKELETON,ONCE BEAUTIFUL,NOW JUST A AN UGLY TWIG. I GOT DOWN ON MY KNEES AND ASKED GOD TO DELIVER ME AND HE DID,THAT VERY MOMENT. A FEW WEEKS LATER I WAS FEELING SICK IN MY STOMACHE AND I JUST NEW THAT I WAS PREGNANT. I TOOK A TEST TO CONFIRM IT. WHILE I WAS EXCITED, MY MOM AND MY BOYFRIEND WERE NOT. THEY BOTH PRESSURED ME TO HAVE AN ABORTION. I BEGGED THEM TO JUST LET ME HAVE MY BABY,BUT THEY PRESSED AND PRESSED…….MY SISTER TOOK ME TO GO HAVE THE ABORTION DONE AND AFTERWARD SHE STOPPED AT ‘TOYS R US’. SHE WAS BUYING A TOY FOR HER DAUGHTER. I THOUGHT THAT THAT WAS CRUEL. THAT NIGHT I HAD PAINS IN MY TUMMY AND BLEEDING REAL BAD. I WENT BACK TO THE CLINIC AND HAD TO GET A D AND C DONE. THAT’S WHEN THEY SCRAPE OUT YOUR INSIDES…………LATER,I FOUND OUT THAT I WAS CARRYING TWINS…………………I’M 46 NOW AND I STILL THINK ABOUT MY BABIES AND PRAY TO GOD TO WATCH OVER THEM………..IF I COULD REDO ANYTHING IN MY LIFE……I WOULD’VE HAD MY BABIES………I HOPE THAT THIS STORY HELPS SOMEONE CONTIMPLATING WHAT CHOICE TO MAKE…………SHEILA
Sheila’s testimony is a powerful one, worth sharing
As another administrator pointed out, those who have different experiences of abortion are certainly welcome to share their stories. Certainly not every woman is going to feel the same way about her abortion and we don’t suggest that every woman has been traumatized or has negative feelings after abortion. But, given the nature of our site, most of the women we hear from had problems coping and want to share their story to help others (those who are just fine are probably less likely to contact us). We aren’t trying to limit points of view, just trying to give women who feel silenced a voice and share information that might help other women who are struggling.
OBVIOUSLY THERE IS A STRONG PULL,A FORCE,IF YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT THIS HAS BEEN A BATTLE OF THE HEART.SOUL AND MIND OF MANY OF YOUNG WOMEN THROUGHOUT CENTURIES. MEANING: THIS IS NOT A NEW DISCUSSION AMONG WOMEN. IT IS A DECISION OF THE HEART. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON YOU HAVE .IS YOURSELF AND IT SHOULD BE,,,YOUR DECISION,,KNOWONE ELSE.
This site isn’t biased. It’s girls and women telling their stories of their life. By life; I mean the child or children. There’s a lot of compassion here.
so nia,where are the happy testimonies anyway ?
only ones i ever read for proabortionists were snarky and nasty attempts to justify what they did.
never read a happy one so maybe you can supply some links ?
i’ll start the list of comments from those that aborted 50% of their own DNA
http://www.thisismyabortion.com/
Nia, dear one This is a site for healing and educating others. You will see what you want to see. As for me I understand being forced to abort my beloved child. I pray that you never have to understand anything due to the experiences that many of us have. HUGZ
At some point, sooner or later, it will overwhelm you and the sadness and grief will overpower you that a part of you has been lost, the most precious part of all, next to your soul. Major depression will set in and many women have succumbed to suicide once the truth and reality of your lost little one hits their heart and soul!
Even though many women think they are fine with their abortions, the jails are full of women who have aborted. I have spoken in prisons and I ask how many have aborted and usually all but one or two have. They may not realize that their lives are a mess because of abortion but the numbers might prove otherwise. Women were in jail because of drugs and violence. Maybe their hearts know what they did was wrong and they don’t know how to deal with it. Maybe the say they are “fine” with it but their lives speak louder.
Of the 12 that I know who aborted after rape, which the world thinks is okay, 10 were suicidal, 3 attempted and failed. The two that said they were “fine” denied they were carrying babies and were only a month from their abortions. The years tend to wear away at the conscience.